Need sex. Gaining weight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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