The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
