But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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