if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
