Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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