Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
