all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
