brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
