He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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