not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
