is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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