Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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