if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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