Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
