I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Panties = found
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize