so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
