Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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