I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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