Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
