Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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