I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
