You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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