i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
