are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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