The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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