so that wasnt chicken after all
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
