ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
