Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my shit smells like andre
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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