I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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