I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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