as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
