he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
