god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
