If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
