when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize