i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
