Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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