I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just had sex bonerless
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
