evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
