He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
