Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I deserve this hangover.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
