FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
