Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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