What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
