The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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