you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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