i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
