I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize