How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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