I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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