the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize