Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We are two peas in an std pod
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
