You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
