I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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