you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
