Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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