I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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