That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize