I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
