You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
