she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
