I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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