remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
