I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize