So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
