what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize